May 23, 2014

JURASSIC WORLD Could Make All My Dreams Come True


Jurassic World, the latest installment in the long dormant dino-franchise, is currently filming under the direction of Colin Trevorrow, whose Safety Not Garunteed I quite liked!  We know the cast includes Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jake Johnson, Judy Greer, Omar Sy, Vincent D'Onofrio and that kid with the potato gun from Iron Man 3. The action will go down at a fully operational dinosaur theme park, something I didn't even realize I wanted to see until someone said it out loud.  But will it just be another round of dinosaurs breaking out of their pens and chomping on terrified tourists?  JoBlo says not so much.

Let's backtrack for a minute.  Back in 2007 there was a script floating around for a proposed Jurassic Park 4 written by William Monahan (The Departed) and exploitation master John Sayles.  I never actually got a copy of it, but I read a few descriptions and they were, quite frankly, so absolutely bonkers insane that I couldn't believe it was an actual project that an actual studio was actually developing.  The story took place in a world where dinosaur attacks were taking place with increasing frequency around the world, so a soldier of fortune hooks up with a squadron of dino/human hybrids who can talk and shoot guns and together they embark on a mission to eradicate the world's remaining dinosaur population.  It's basically The Dirty Dozen with talking dinosaurs.

There is no amount of money I would not pay in order to see that movie.

I may have been denied the exquisite joy of dino-commandos, but it sounds like Trevorrow's going to get me pretty close.  According to JoBlo, Jurassic World will feature a new dinosaur cooked up in the lab din order to entice new customers to the park.  This is something that has never before existed in nature, a combination T-Rex/raptor/snake/cuttlefish.  I am downright tickled at the idea that I might hear people exclaiming the word "cuttlefish" in fear and panic multiple times in one movie.

But wait, it gets better!  Chris Pratt's character is supposedly a dinosaur trainer of some kind, a guy who leads a group of "good dinos" who have to hunt down this new beastie and protect the humans.  How exactly does one train a dinosaur?  Mind control tech?  Pheromones?  Maybe they have little artificial voice boxes like Darwin the dolphin on Seaquest!  Or maybe Chris Pratt can speak raptor!

Could I really be this lucky?  We'll find out when Burt Macklin: Dinosaur Trainer hits theaters in June of 2015.