Sometimes you sit in the theater, the lights go down, and within moments you're acutely aware that you're seeing something special. That the next two hours are going to hit you on many different levels and that you're witnessing the birth of a new classic. There's a visceral connection. It's electric.
Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes is just such a movie.
As an eternal fan of smart and cerebral science fiction, I'm almost astounded that I'm fortunate enough to be able to see Dawn just one week after having my world rocked by Snowpiercer - even amidst an avalanche of calculated bullshit like Transformers and Ninja Turtles, there's still truly earth-shattering cinema happening all around us, stuff that doesn't sacrifice intellect on the altar of commercial appeal. With Dawn we may not have wall-to-wall action beats, but the action we get is truly thrilling and it all works in service of compelling and fully developed characters who each act according to their own tragic yet totally emotionally valid worldview. The final showdown between apes feels incredibly raw and personal, while an ape siege on the human city is shot with both energy and precision. You won't be left wanting for action and yet this is a movie in which the first 20 minutes pass in near silence while apes communicate in subtitled sign language. And while the apes are certainly the heroes, there are plenty of characters to love and hate within each species. Even the villains, human and ape alike, aren't really villains so much as they're emotionally scarred or misinformed individuals trying to do what they feel is just and necessary to ensure their respective society's survival on a hostile, disease-ravaged planet that sits perched on the brink of total collapse.
Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes was surprise hit, succeeding largely because of the incredible performance of Andy Serkis as Caesar in collaboration with the groundbreaking digital artistry of the folks at WETA. Both sides of that equation have taken a huge leap forward here. Serkis continues to amaze as the strong, yet thoughtful and soft-spoken leader of an near utopian ape civilization. His physicality is fantastic, whether he's scrapping with rival Koba, swinging from tree to tree or hunting a herd of deer. But it's the quiet moments, when he first holds his newborn baby, tries to connect to his adolescent son or rediscovers an old video tape of James Franco's Will Rodman where Serkis's performance truly astounds. And while it goes without saying, it simply MUST be said that WETA's work here is simply jaw-dropping. People will marvel about how "photo-real" the apes all look and they're right to do so; at some point you will forget that you're not actually looking at real creatures or practical effects. But it's the deep and soulful translation of the actor's emotions that really bring the characters to life and WETA should be commended for using digital effects to appropriately enhance and reinforce the on set performances instead of simply burying them under impressive CG monkey hair.
If nothing else, I am most grateful that this blog has helped to instill in me a lifelong love of the Apes franchise (sans Burton). I started this site with the original Planet Of The Apes and re-watching all five of the original films plus Rise in preparation for this newest entry reminded me of just why these movies are so special. On the surface you've got all manner of simian fun and adventure, be it rubber-suited or computer generated, and you can enjoy the films on a purely surface level. But even in the less successful entries (I'm looking at you, Conquest and Battle) there are still Big Ideas at play and enough social commentary to fuel a dozen thesis papers. Dawn continues this proud tradition, commenting on everything from gun control and animal cruelty to xenophobia and false flags. At a time when even Star Trek, the eternal flame of intellectual science fiction, has largely submitted to deafening explosions, needless chase scenes and inexplicable MacGuffins, it's comforting to know that the fire of smart sci-fi will contine to burn bright so long as there are long and awesomely/awkwardly titled Apes movies out there.
Bart, Jamie and I welcome newcomer Jess Hilbun and returning favorite Jeff Schwartz to discuss all this and more in Episode 22 of the podcast. The girls advance the theory that Caesar is secretly modeled after Harry Potter (he has a scar!) while the guys revel in the dark camp of the original five films. We also debate the awards worthiness of performance capture (I think Andy Serkis is fully deserving of an Oscar and hope it's just a matter of time) and we ponder whether the kids of today can still appreciate an animated classic like Dumbo. Also, our dog poops while we're recording.
The summer blockbuster season has officially peaked, and I'm ready for Guardians Of The Galaxy to carry me into the fall.
One of my favorite episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer is "The Zeppo."* It's the story of Xander Harris, the only member of the self-described Scoobies without any kind of supernatural powers or abilities. He's just a good dude, and therefore he's often relegated to making a pithy comment before getting knocked unconscious while Buffy kicks some demonic ass. But "The Zeppo" is Xander's chance to shine, as he gets entangled with a group of Sunnydale jocks who have been resurrected from the grave and plan to blow up the school. Buffy and the gang are otherwise occupied trying to defeat some unspeakable horror somewhere off-camera, totally oblivious to Xander's struggle to protect his friends from this smaller but no less lethal threat. Occasionally the two plots intersect, but the episode brilliantly pushes the traditional A-story into the margins in order to focus on the awesomeness of a character that had never really gotten his due.
Ben-Hur is "The Zeppo" of the New Testament.
There are certain older, venerated films that have permeated pop culture and the collective unconscious to such a degree that we feel like we've already seen them, even if we've never actually done so. You might not have seen Citizen Kane, but you probably get a "Rosebud" reference or jokes about sleds. Most people are probably familiar with the image of Charlton Heston kneeling on a beach andscreaming at a wrecked Statue Of Liberty, but play the first 20 minutes of Planet Of The Apes and most people probably wouldn't know what they're watching. (In my generation, I attribute much of this behavior to topical humor of The Simpsons, which likely served as the first introduction to much of this older material for most of my peers.) It's marvelous to see that these Hollywood classics are still a part of our societal dialogue, but at the same time it seems as if there's a growing sense that there's no need to watch the actual film so long as you can "get the reference." I've been guilty of this cinema crime myself over the years, which was a big motivating factor for beginning this project in the first place and the exact reason I started out with a vintage title like Apes.
It's astounding just how far the pop culture perception can fall from reality. If say "Ben-Hur," the first two words that should jump into your brainpan are "chariot race" and with good reason. It's a thrilling piece of filmmaking, steeped in drama, violence and intensity all accomplished without bashing you over the head with a lot of dialogue or over-the-top music. What I hadn't realized until the movie started was that the phrase "chariot races" comprised the full extent of my knowledge about Ben-Hur. I didn't even know this was a heavily religious film, let alone the fact that Jesus himself shows up multiple times. Hell, the full title of the film is Ben-Hur: A Tale Of The Christ! How did I make it this far without making that discovery?
Honestly, if I had known that this was essentially an elaborate fanfic detailing the backtory of the guy who gave Jesus water on the way to the crucifixion, I probably would have opted for Spartacus over Ben-Hur. I was all pumped up for some ancient Roman action, and instead I got a lot of leprosy and horse-whispering. Sure the chariot race kicks ass and the naval battle sequence is a masterclass in building tension, but the film is overly long and extremely slow at times. I'll always love older epics for their use of exotic, practical locations and endless crowds of extras, if for no other reason than because it's the kind of moviemaking you just don't see anymore in the age of digital effects. After all, why spend money traveling to the far corners of the globe and then recruiting a few hundred background actors when you can do all of that from the comfort of a cubicle in Burbank? Still, even the charm of old Hollywood isn't enough to overcome my biblical apathy.
"The Zeppo" is brilliant because it's lean and tightly plotted, which is pretty much the opposite of the sprawling, meandering Ben-Hur. I have no problem with sheer length of running time if the scope of the story demands it, but I'm simply unconvinced that such was the case here. In fact, the most frustrating part of William Wyler's epic is that most of the Jesus stuff feels downright extraneous; if this had just been a tale of ancient Jewish vengeance, I would have enjoyed it infinitely more. The other great thing about "The Zeppo" is the way it satirizes the standard Buffy story structure, playing on the melodrama of yet another world-ending crisis by examining it through the sardonic eyes of a marginalized character. It's little wonder that, while Ben-Hur is definitely not my cup of tea, I will love Monty Python's Life Of Brian for the rest of time.
The filmmaking is impressive to be sure and there's a reason Ben-Hur won every Oscar imaginable. I'm certainly glad that I finally watched this one, but I also seriously doubt that I'll ever revisit it again.
*The title refers to Zeppo Marx, the brother who traditionally played the straight man and never got the chance to play any of the truly zany comedy of Groucho, Harpo and Chico.
--------------------------------------- Title: Ben-Hur Director: William Wyler Starring: Charlton Heston, Jack Hawkins, Haya Haraheet, Stephen Boyd, Hugh Griffith, Martha Scott, Cathy O'Donnell, Sam Jaffe Year Of Release: 1960 Viewing Method: Netflix DVD
This was by far my least favorite of all the Planet Of The Apes films. Beneath is pretty terrible, but at least it's an interesting sort of terrible. It's got that fantastic underground set, weird mutant make-up, a totally unhinged 20 minutes from Charleton Heston and one of the most batshit crazy endings of any movie ever. Plus it set the stage perfectly for Escape From Planet Of The Apes, easily my favorite of the entire run. Battle had plenty of potential, set in the early days of Caesar's ape civilization after man's cities have been destroyed and the two species still struggle for dominance over the Earth. Unfortunately what we get is a terrifically dull story that looks like it was largely shot in the director's back yard.
Even though it's only been a few short years since his revolution and the fall of mankind, Caesar is no longer the only talking ape in the world. He and Lisa (Natalie Trundy, also back for her fourth Ape movie) are now married with a precocious son named Cornelius, whose best friend is played by future Animal House director John Landis. Hell, Caesar isn't even the smartest ape in town anymore, as that honor goes to Virgil (played by musician Paul Williams), an orangutan scientist who speaks with verbosity and posits theories about the nature of time and parallel universes. Humans and apes live and work together in Caesar's somewhat idyllic village although the gorillas, lead by the simple-minded aggressor General Aldo (Claude Akins), are thirsty for any excuse to do away with mankind permanently. When Caesar heads off to the smoldering city to find information about his parents, he inadvertently brings an army of angry "malformed" survivors chasing after him, determined to strike vengeance against the one they blame for humanity's downfall. Aldo uses the situation to his advantage, attacking young Cornelius to distract Caesar and seizing the village's armory in an attempt to wrestle control of their fledgling society.
The biggest crime committed by Battle For The Planet Of The Apes is that it feels incredibly small. The thing to keep in mind is that Fox had been churning these movies out on more or less a yearly basis, and while they kept making a decent profit, each film's budget got progressively smaller. The primary victim of these cutbacks was the iconic makeup work conceived by John Chambers. It's as if they spent half the make-up budget solely on Roddy McDowell, leaving the majority of the cast stuck behind low-grade gorilla masks that don't really allow for a wide range of facial response. Similarly, the humans discovered living in ruin are repeatedly described as mutants, although there is only the slightest of makeup to indicate any deformity. It's nothing like the marvelously weird creatures we saw three films prior. While these "mutants" live in a non-descript series of underground rooms and corridors, the apes live in a collection of tree houses and wooden huts in the nearby woods. There are no real structures to speak of and the whole thing feels very cheap, like Fox was trying to see just how little they could spend and still get away with a watchable movie.
The one thing that hasn't declined in quality is Roddy McDowell's performance. In fact, I'd argue that he's better here than he is in Conquest. Instead of spending half the movie mute and pretending to be a normal ape, now he is the revered intellectual leader, the man with not only the smarts to shape a new civilization, but the pathos and charisma to make it a society worth fighting for. Like McDowell, writer Paul Dehn is back for the fourth time and he rightfully knows how strong of an asset McDowell truly is, so we get to see many different sides of our favorite ape: benevolent king, curious explorer, concerned father, and tactical general. Whenever McDowell is not on camera the movie suffers dramatically.
The only other stand-out is Paul Williams, who is endlessly entertaining simply because we never forget that we're watching the man who wrote songs for The Muppets essentially dressed as one. The early 70s was the height of Williams's popularity; the guy was downright ubiquitous, both as an actor and as a singer/songwriter. In fact, to promote the film he went on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show (he was a very frequent guest) and sang in full ape make-up, smoking a cigarette and sitting at an Italian restaurant table. (Seriously, this happened.) The rest of the cast is nothing to write home about. The "mutants" are led by Severn Darden as Kolp, the man who had previously tortured Caesar in Conquest and his since been promoted to Governor. He's not particularly bad (although most of his dialogue is) so much as he just feels like the watered down alternative to bringing back Don Murray's over-the-top mugging as Governor Breck. Similarly, cool black guy MacDonald is still around, but now he's played by another actor. After a while, the whole movie starts to feel like nothing more than a series of unfortunate compromises.
There's one interesting thread that I seems implied but never actively discussed. In Escape, Cornelius tells the Presidential commission that the first ape who ever spoke was named Aldo, and that his first word was "No," the simplest act of rebellion imaginable. Are we to believe that, in a world in which Cornelius and Zira never traveled back in time and give birth to Caesar, that General Aldo would have been the forefather of the ape civilization that Taylor would encounter thousands of years later? It's hard to tell. I'm going to choose to believe that's the case, as it makes for the sole truly compelling storyline in the whole movie. This version of Aldo is an illiterate bundle of rage who literally puts all the humans in a cage. It therefore makes sense that, with Aldo calling the shots, humans would be degraded into mute prey after a few thousand years. Instead, we get a glimpse at the future of Caesar's remade world, in which The Lawgiver teaches a classroom of both apes and humans alike. Considering that the first two ape films never refer to Caesar, only The Lawgiver as the founder of their culture, I suppose one could make the argument that the apes could still come to rule humanity. Then again, considering this franchise's penchant for ignoring it's own history there seems little point in performing mental backflips just to make the fifth movie match up with the first.
All in, I've truly enjoyed the Planet Of The Apes franchise. Yes, it's really uneven and I'm honestly not sure if I'll ever watch Conquest or Battle again unless I'm re-watching the whole series, but each movie has it's own brand of goofy charm that, at the end of the day, I just can't resist. I adore the recent prequel Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes and I'm really excited at some of the casting for the upcoming Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes. (Ape Judy Greer!) I've even decided to give Burton's attempt another shot, having seen it once in the theater, hating it and never revisiting it again. I don't have high hopes.
Planet Of The Apes was the perfect way to kick off this whole project, which is now officially one month old. In fact, I really loved having an Ape movie to look forward to at the end of every week, so I'm thinking of picking up another series this week. There are a lot of horror franchises I've largely ignored over the years, but I want to try something else first. Maybe sci-fi? Finding a sci-fi series I've never seen seems like a formidable challenge.
Suggestions?
--------------------------------------- Title: Battle For The Planet Of The Apes Director: J. Lee Thompson Starring: Roddy McDowell, Paul Williams, Claude Akins, Natalie Trundy, Severn Darden Year Of Release: 1973 Viewing Method: Digital Copy
"Funny, now that I know these things won't kill me, I don't enjoy them."
Right as I started watching Conquest Of The Planet Of The Apes, I made the last minute decision to live-tweet my viewing. I really enjoyed doing it for Titanic and, judging by the analytics, you all enjoyed reading it. So I figured it was probably time for another run on Twitter.
As I'm getting pretty deep into the Apes series, it seemed likely that the franchise was about to go off the rails and get either truly silly or truly terrible. Escape really played up the campy elements, reveling in the hilarity of the fish-out-of-water aspect of intelligent future apes living in 1970s Los Angeles. However, the end of the film makes an abrupt ninety degree turn and gets truly dark and ominous. Seriously, a guy shoots a newborn baby ape like six times point blank. Fucking DARK.
While I was kind of hoping Conquest would keep with the lighter tone, instead it delves into the beginning of humanity's downfall and it's not a pleasant tale. We've jumped forward about 20 years to 1991 and mankind is already in tough shape. A plague has already wiped out all the dogs and cats from the face of the Earth, just like Cornelius foretold. Apes have already become domesticated and are even performing menial labor like waiting tables and sweeping streets. There's a quasi-futuristic, industrial totalitarian feel to the whole thing, and you get the feeling that humanity has been living in terror ever since Zira and Cornelius showed up and spelled out humanity's destruction. Frankly, I'd have been scared shitless too once the dogs and cats all started dying, although I don't know why people would've started bringing apes into their homes in the first place.
Anyway, Conquest does a great job of painting humanity as the villains, leaving us with the impression that mankind deserves what's coming to them. Unfortunately we don't really love the apes yet either. The make-up work is sub-par here and we only have one talking ape that's a fully formed character we can really root for, Zira and Cornelius's son Caesar. (There's no explanation as to why he's no longer named Milo.) Roddy McDowell is back to play his own progeny, and he's excellent. While Cornelius was an intellectual, Caesar is all raw emotion and he gets a powerful speech at the end to wrap up the picture. I'm excited to see how they conclude this franchise next week with Battle For The Planet Of The Apes.
Now on with the live-tweeting!
Alright I'm Livetweeting tonight's screening of Conquest Of The Planets Of The Apes. Ricardo Montalban is back within the first 5 minutes!
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
Oh man, so many extras in terrible ape Halloween masks. This does not bode well.
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
Wow, they're really going to make Ricardo Montalban summarize this entire franchise up front, aren't they? Holy exposition Batman!
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
Bringing back Roddy McDowell to play his own son was a pretty genius casting decision.
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
Who the fuck is making these constant announcements?Apparently this is a totalitarian regime that made cigarettes healthy. Weird.
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
They're really living up to the comedic promise of apes as waiters and hairdressers. They tip them in raisins!
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
Futuristic video cassette tapes!Reusing footage from the last movie!We've got a lower budget!
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
Man this Governor is a total dick. He REALLY hates apes for no particular reason.
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
Cue psychadelic lights and sound while the guards beat the crap out of the apes. Yay 1970s!
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
Methinks that Ricardo Montalban is not long for this world...
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
They just tried to prove family resemblance by comparing a photograph to a hand drawn cartoon. Somehow that logic seems flawed...
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
I do like this idea that humanity now lives in fear of the legacy of Zira and Cornelius, especially after the pet plague came to pass.
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
In this future, EVERYONE wears turtlenecks. Did ties die off with dogs and cats?
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
Evil Governor: "Geez black guy, why are you so touchy about slavery?Lighten up, brother!"
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
"We were all slaves at one time.""Yeah, but some of us more recently than others!"
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
And adios Ricardo Montalban. You deserved better than falling out of a window.
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
Now Caesar seems to have some sort of psychic power over his fellow apes. He looks at them and they instantly act like assholes!
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
"This action is folly!"Every actor should be so lucky to dialogue that juicy.
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
No surprise, the black guy turns out to be the coolest guy in the room. I'm mostly impressed he's still alive.
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
Caesar and the black guy seems to be lurking through the Death Star right now.
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
"He's dead.""Did you look for a pulse, or check his breathing.""Nope.""Good enough for me!"
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
Dude, the apes took over their building and killed a bunch of guards. I don't think they're gonna turn around just because you yelled "No!"
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
HAHAHA!Giant ineffectual nets!What a perfect callback!
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 22, 2013
Guys, a wall of fire is a great distraction, but it won't stop bullets. These are the worst shock troops ever.
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 23, 2013
The Evil Governor is the hammiest actor I've ever seen. He makes Shatner look nuanced.
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 23, 2013
This battle is pretty disappointing.It's mostly guys in jumpsuits running into each other and soldiers firing into a crowd AND MISSING.
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 23, 2013
"If we fall, it will be the end of the world!"Yeah, or just this city. There's still only one talking ape dude.
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 23, 2013
Helluva speech by Roddy McDowell at the end. There's a reason this guy IS the franchise.
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 23, 2013
Hope that MacDonald sticks around for the last one, maybe even Evil Governor. Can't believe I only have one left. Love this franchise.
— Daley Screening (@DaleyScreening) March 23, 2013
Well, one more Ape adventure left to go.
What should I live-tweet next? I'm open to suggestions...
--------------------------------------- Title: Conquest Of The Planet Of The Apes Director: J. Lee Thompson Starring: Roddy McDowell, Don Murray, Ricardo Montalban, Hari Rhodes, Natalie Trundy Year Of Release: 1972 Viewing Method: Digital Copy (TV)
The first Apes movie is a legitimately great movie, while the second one tries for big sci-fi ideas and fails spectacularly. The third one knows exactly where its bread is buttered. What do I mean? Here we open on the familiar spacecraft floating in the Pacific ocean, but now we've got a helicopter full of modern day humans flying overhead. The army shows up and drags the the crashed ship onto the shore and opens up the hatch. Three astronauts emerge and remove their helmets only to reveal...they're apes! Apes in spacesuits! Ape-stronauts!
I don't think I've been won over by a movie so quickly.
Long story short: Cornelius, Zira and newcomer Dr. Milo managed to salvage Taylor's spaceship, figure out the controls and blast off just in time to see the Earth destroyed. The ship is somehow catapulted backward in time to 1971, leaving our favorite apes to find their way in late 20th century Los Angeles. So basically, it's the Star Trek IV of Apes movies.
Roddy McDowell and Kim Hunter are back and they are both spectacular. There's obviously a lot of humor to be mined from intelligent, talking apes from the future becoming celebrities in 1970s LA, doubly so when viewing it 40 years later. (The fashion choices alone are pretty amazing.) The biggest fault of Beneath The Planet Of The Apes was Cornelius and Zira's abrupt disappearance halfway through the movie, so you've gotta give them credit for turning that weakness to their advantage in the third installment. And where Beneath was overwhelmingly dour, this movie has a playful tone that really plays into turning the tables and making the apes the fish out of water. I'm sure a big part of that story choice was driven by budgetary concerns; it's certainly a lot cheaper to shoot two apes (Milo is accidentally killed early on) in a modern setting than to build elaborate sets and put dozens of actors and extras in complex simian makeup.
McDowell and Hunter are clearly having a blast reprising their roles. Writer Paul Dehn seems to realize who the stars of its franchise really are and they are both given great material to play. Again, there's plenty of comedy here and both Zira and Cornelius get in some sharp zingers as they explore this new world. But the story eventually takes a darker tone. The U.S. government, spearheaded by the President's chief science advisor Dr. Otto Hasslein, is very interested in exactly where the apes came from, why they traveled back in time, and how their species eventually came to dominate man. There are public hearings that eventually give way to secret interrogations involving truth serum. When Zira is revealed to be pregnant, Dr. Hasslein is convinced that the offspring of these two apes will eventually beget a race of apes that will spell humanity's downfall. He believes that they must be killed for the good of mankind, and even though there's no doubt that Hasslein's in the wrong, I appreciated that the script actually gives him somewhat of a nuanced position. He gives a great speech about how the human race is prone to procrastination when it comes to solving large scale problems like pollution and overpopulation. Eric Braeden's performance stops short of turning Hasslein into a mustache-twirling villain and it's clear that he truly believes he's doing the right and necessary thing, even if Zira and Cornelius personally have only the best of intentions towards man.
Eventually Zira and Cornelius escape from the military base where they're being held, thanks in part to the efforts of the animal psychologists who first took care of them upon their arrival in the past. He takes them to a friend's circus to hide out. The circusmaster? Ricardo Motherfucking Montalban!
It's like this movie was made for me.
The movie's finale gets super dark. (Spoilers follow) Dr. Hasslein tracks Cornelius, Zira and their baby Milo to an abandoned freighter ship and the Doctor eventually shoots both Zira and the baby. Cornelius thusly shoots Hasslein dead in front of a squad of police officers, who, in turn, shoot Cornelius. His lifeless body topples down from the top of the ship to the deck below and the ailing Zira dumps the baby's body in the water and crawls over to die next to her husband. And as the audience is once again left wondering how they plan to keep this franchise going, we cut back to Ricardo Montalban's circus, only to see that Zira actually swapped babies with one of the circus apes. Baby Milo (an actual ape) clutches the bars of his cage and as the picture fades to black, we hear him crying out, "Mama! Mama! MAAAAMAAAA!" Talk about a killer ending!
While the first two Apes movies made me curious to see where the story would go, this one left me damn near RABID for the next installment. I suspect that the last two movies will take place primarily in the modern day, but at the same time this franchise has a willingness to completely rewrite its own history whenever it suits it. For example, during his interrogation Cornelius tells the story of how the apes initially came to overtake humanity. He speaks of a plague that wiped out dogs and cats, thus causing humans to adopt apes as pets. Eventually the apes became smart enough to carry out complicated yet menial tasks like cooking and cleaning, until the apes eventually came to grasp the concept of slavery. They finally rose up against their masters, and an ape named Aldo spoke the first word. He said, "No."
While I appreciate the way it would come to be echoed by Andy Serkis's Caesar in Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, it also runs completely contrary to the history established in the first Apes movie. There we saw Cornelius's archeological dig, where he had uncovered evidence of the long gone human civilization. However they were convinced it must have been some ancient apes, because the idea of intelligent, vocal humans seemed an impossibility. Now he's talking about every ape celebrating the day that Aldo first spoke his refusal against man. This isn't so much retconning as it is just changing the rules whenever it's convenient. In Beneath it seemed annoying and lazy, but now that it's become a systemic feature of the franchise it's actually morphed into a rather charming attribute. Hey, maybe it means they'll find a way to bring Cornelius and Zira back from the dead. Who knows?
While the first Planet Of The Apes is definitely the most impressive movie of the franchise so far, Escape is probably my favorite and I suspect that it will probably end up being watched in heavier rotation in our house when all is said and done.
Then again, I've got two more chapters to go and my hopes have never been higher.
--------------------------------------- Title: Escape From The Planet Of The Apes Director: Don Taylor Starring: Roddy McDowell, Kim Hunter, Bradford Dillman, Eric Braeden Year Of Release: 1971 Viewing Method: Digital Copy (TV)
I'm not gonna dwell on the second Apes movie too long, because I suspect that it's not going to end up playing a huge part in the rest of the franchise. Why do I think that? Because it ends with the destruction of the planet.
Let's back up.
The movie opens in the last few minutes of the first installment, with Taylor and Nova riding off along the shoreline and discovering the remains of the Statue Of Liberty. They continue to ride silently across the Forbidden Zone through the opening credits...then we cut away to another spaceship crashed in the desert, identical to the one which brought Taylor and crew so far into the future. Two astronauts have survived the crash. It seems they were on a rescue mission to find Taylor, but much like their predecessor they also assume they're on some alien planet rather than the Earth of the future. It's here where we get our first inkling that something isn't quite right, as one astronaut who looks like Charlton Heston Lite remarks to his ailing partner that the computer says the current Earth year is 3955, which is about twenty years before the first movie. No reason, no explanation, simply a lack of research/continuity. This already does not bode well.
The older astronaut dies, leaving our Heston look-a-like, Brent, to fend for himself. That is until Nova rides up sans Taylor. Brent tries to communicate with her, but she's still unable to speak. He quickly notices that she's wearing dogtags identical to his own, and he asks her about Taylor. We're treated to a flashback of Taylor and Nova alone in the desert, with Taylor unsuccessfully trying to teach her how to say his name. The two ride on until they encounter a wall of fire, strange lightning bolts, and eventually a cliff face that appears out of nowhere in the middle of the desert plain. Taylor tries to investigate, giving Nova his dogtags and telling her if anything happens to go back to the Ape city and find Zira. Again, let's pause. Where the hell did the dogtags come from? He certainly never had them in the first movie, and it's not as if his tiny loincloth has pockets. Anyway, Taylor reaches out for the cliff face and immediately disappears.
Brent wants Nova to take him to Taylor, but instead she brings him to the apes. They observe a town hall meeting where General Ursus is rallying the crowd to send an army into the Forbidden Zone, as he believes there are humans living there that killed a scout squad. There are some peacenik chimps, marching in a circle with pickets signs espousing peace, but the crowd is largely amped for war. Brent and Nova quickly find Zira and Cornelius, now suddenly married, and Brent is quickly brought up to speed with the rest of the audience. Apes run the show, humans can't talk, desert wasteland, etc. Zira tells him that Taylor went off into the Forbidden Zone and Brent is determined to find him. Dr Zaius shows up and we get yet another really weird moment. Zira was helping to treat Brent's wounds and is unable to hide the bloody bandages when Zaius arrives. So, to explain them away she tells Zaius that Cornelius HIT HER because she disagreed with the warmongering crowd at the town meeting. But it's okay because, as she tells Dr. Zaius, "I don't resent it, but his nails need clipping." No big deal. WHAT THE FUCK? Later on they make a whole point about how apes don't shoot other apes, but slapping around the lady apes is a-okay? This scene makes Taylor's previous chauvinism seem downright charming.
Anyway, after spending a little time in an ape prison with other mute natives, Brent and Nova escape into the Forbidden Zone, with the ape army not far behind. They stumble upon an cave that leads to an underground passage and then things start to get REALLY batshit. Brent finds himself in an abandoned New York City subway station, having his own mini-State Of Liberty moment. (Seriously, he even echoes Taylor's words, saying "My god, did we finally do it? Did we finally, really do it?") Further exploration of the underground reveals a buried New York Public Library, New York Stock Exchange, city buses, and even Radio City Music Hall. Here's where I really started to get excited. The ape stuff is all kind of a retread from last time, but this felt like we were pushing into new territory and really expanding the ape world. Plus, underground New York just flat out looks cool as shit.
My excitement quickly dissipated as Brent discovers a lone man dressed like Jor-El who's not only talking, he's praying. To a nuclear missile.
Confession: at this point I realized that I had actually see part of this movie when I was a kid. The missile has the Greek symbols Alpha and Omega on the fin, which identifies it as a doomsday bomb. I've always had an affinity for the Greek alphabet, so suffice it to say that ten-year-old Daley thought this was tremendously clever. Somehow that particular image stayed with me, but really nothing else from the film. I didn't even remember it being from a Planet Of The Apes movie. How is that possible? Because from this point out, the Apes are largely absent. WHICH IS TOTALLY FUCKING DUMB. Brent discovers a whole civilization of people with strange psychic abilities who have been living underground and worshiping "the glory of the bomb and the Holy Fallout."
Oh but wait, it gets better. These people are apparently defenseless in their underground cave, using their mental powers to project illusions of fire and lightning throughout the Forbidden Zone. They attempt scare off the advancing ape army, but Dr. Zaius sees through the ruse and pushes the troops forward. The nuclear disciples conclude they have no choice but to detonate the bomb and, gathering for a final religious ceremony that is chock full of creepy hymns, they reveal their true selves unto their god: they each peel off their faces to reveal that they are actually irradiated mutants that look like this:
Yeeeeaaaaahhhh......
WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS MOVIE? Where the hell are the damn, dirty apes?
Brent is soon locked away with...Taylor! He's alive! The reunion is quickly spoiled when the mutant guard uses his mind control power to make the two men fight each other to the death. We basically get a lamer version of the classic Kirk vs Spock duel, albeit this time it's a cage match with spiked clubs. Luckily Nova distracts the guard by shouting out Taylor's name (Progress!) and they're able to escape. FINALLY the apes show up to wreck the joint, looking to literally smash any trace of humanity. Unfortunately an ape shoots Nova in the back, which finally pushes Taylor right over the edge. Apes, mutants...he's ready to do away with the whole lot of them. By now the apes have slaughtered the baldies and are attempting to pull down the doomsday bomb, so Brent starts shooting up the room while Taylor goes for the bomb controls. The distraction isn't so successful and Taylor gets shot in the chest. He begs Dr. Zaius to help him, but the ape refuses saying, "Man is evil, capable of nothing but destruction."
So Taylor shows him a thing or two and blows up the world. Just to drive the point home, the screen cuts to black and a monotone voiceover kicks in and says, "In one of the countless billions of galaxies in the universe lies a medium size star, and one of its satellites, a green and insignificant planet, is now dead."
So...FUCK YOU AUDIENCE!
This is easily one of the most misguided sequels I've ever encountered. First of all, it totally feels like this started off as a completely unrelated movie that was co-opted into the Apes franchise. The new creative team clearly had no understanding of what was appealing about the first movie. I'll give you a hint: it wasn't the biggest asshole in the history of space travel. Spending the first half of the movie trapped in a watered down rehash of the first one is an unfortunate misstep. Not only that, but the apes themselves are a bit of a let down. Roddy McDowell was unavailable so they pull a makeup assisted bait-and-switch, recasting Cornelius for the two scenes he appears in. (This move would become famously litigated when Crispin Glover was replaced in Back To The Future Part Two.) Along with a lead who looks like Charlton Heston's actual stand-in, it's hard not to feel like we're watching the JV team. To add insult to injury, the reduced budget meant that many of the ape extras are actually wearing rubber masks rather than the extensive makeup that so impressed audiences in the last go round.
Then they completely overcompensate by abandoning the apes almost entirely in the second half. It's a pretty fatal blow, one that the movie never really recovers from. The idea of underground survivors is fine and all, but they're so cut off and separate from the apes that we never get any kind of meaningful connection to the rest of this world which had such intriguing potential. Really I want to hear more about the history and culture of the ape civilization. Other than the hippie protestor apes, the only fresh clues we get here are a few more references and statues to the Lawgiver ape and a nonchalant attitude towards spousal abuse.
Charlton Heston's very presence in the movie also feels really off. He's got two scenes, disappears for the next hour, then shows up at the end solely to try and kill his successor and then avenge the death of his mute concubine by literally destroying the world. While watching it I joked that the only reason they probably convinced Heston to return was the promise that they'd shoot him out in a week. Hilariously, IMDB seems to confirm this.
Oh yeah, also they BLEW UP THE EARTH. Now I'm extra fascinated to see how they managed to keep this franchise going for three more movies.
Look I'm all for really weird, out-there sci-fi that wants to play with big ideas, but everything about Beneath The Planet Of The Apes feels downright lazy, especially the doomsday ending. It plays almost like some kind of Monty Python sketch where they don't know how to end it and just cut away to an explosion. It was kind of fun, but I'm not sure I see myself revisiting this one very frequently.
Well, not sober at least.
--------------------------------------- Title: Beneath The Planet Of The Apes Director: Ted Post Starring: James Franciscus, Linda Harrison, Maurice Evans, Kim Hunter, Charlton Heston Year Of Release: 1970 Viewing Method: Digital Copy
-To sart with I'll follow the shoreline and my nose...
I decided to start with a classic film that, by all rights, I should have seen decades ago. Planet Of The Apes felt like a natural fit, especially since I had purchased the boxed set on blu-ray months ago but hadn't actually gotten around to watching any of them. Some of you must be thinking, "How is it possible that you're such a big movie fan and you got all the way to thirty without having seen Planet Of The Apes?"
Here's my upfront attempt to explain all the gaps in my movie watching history. The easiest way to sum it up is that my parents aren't big movie people, or at least they never collected movies the way I do. Granted a large part of that tendency is a product of the times we live in: when I was a kid, VHS wasn't quite as all pervasive or cheap as DVD is today. While we had a VCR and a decent shelf of movies, my recollection is that they were mostly movies for me and my younger brother and sister, i.e. Disney cartoons. In fact, the only movies I recall being in the house that really belonged to my parents were Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves and Dirty Dancing. Sure, we frequented our local Blockbuster, but to be honest I was always so focused on whatever movies had just come out that I rarely had time to go back and watch older movies. My folks never really sat me down and said, "You like movies? This is a great movie. Sit down because you have to watch this." (Well, to be fair, that did happen a few times, specifically with Slap Shot, *batteries not included and I think Raiders Of The Lost Ark.)
Without any older siblings to pick up the slack, my movie discovery bell curve was generally limited to new releases and whatever movies my friends would expose me to. As I got older, I quickly discovered the folly of trying to watch a movie (especially an R rated movie) on broadcast television. (As I'm typing this, my wife is watching a movie on TV where they are literally cutting to commercial at the climax of a scene for the third time.) I therefore became somewhat of a viewing purist, not wanting to watch movies that were hamstrung by awkward TV editing, dubbed over profanity and the dreaded pan-and-scan. This meant there were piles of movies that, by the time I was old enough to realize I needed to watch them, I wasn't willing to watch unless I could sit and watch them properly. And until Netflix (and Netflix Instant) came around, that meant that I was once again limited to whatever movies I could borrow from friends and roommates.
To be fair, my only laziness also comes into play here. As I said in my prologue, the problem of access hasn't really been a credible factor for the last five years or so. My Netflix queue has been filled with piles of old flicks I should have watched long ago, but I tend to get distracted by shiny new things and the classics often fall by the wayside. That's part of the reason I started this project.
SO.
I fucking loved Planet Of The Apes. It's far from perfect and obviously the iconic final image was spoiled for me years ago, but it was hard for me not to fall in love with this late 60s gem. Yes, Charlton Heston is kind of an unrepentant dick and yes, there are a myriad of production issues, but it's got just the right combination of far-out sci-fi, intellectualism, and hokey charm to fall right in my wheel house. (For the record, I saw both Tim Burton's remake and Rupert Wyatt's prequel in theaters and found them to be misguided and inspired, respectively.)
Kicking off the movie in the cockpit of a spacecraft immediately puts it in my good graces, and the quasi-first-person POV of the Icarus crashing into the water is actually fairly well executed. Taylor (Charlton Heston) and his crew (minus female member Stewart, who died in cryo-sleep) actually make a pretty decent scientific effort to make sure that the planet is habitable before they evacuate the ship (more so than I imagine many of their cinematic peers did in 1968) and then the SLOW BURN begins. We're treated to long sequences of the three astronauts floating down the river in their inflatable raft, hiking along the canyons and skinny-dipping in a pond. Much of this happens in silence, although when there is dialogue it's mostly Taylor being a total asshat and insulting his fellow crew members. He also tells them that they've landed a few hundred light years from Earth on a planet in the constellation Orion which, since he doesn't consult any charts or readouts before abandoning the Icarus, seems to be an outright and baseless lie.
Things start to get interesting when they encounter a group of native humans who awesomely stalk them, site unseen, atop a canyon and then steal their clothes while they're swimming. (My wife had a similar experience with monkeys in Malaysia.) That leads to an incredible awkward shot where all three men stand naked looking at footprints in the mud, (Not to be too sophomoric, but it absolutely looks like they're all staring at each other's dongs.) and then a naked safari to find their stolen supplies. Upon seeing the mute natives gathering food, Taylor remarks that, "If this is the best this world has to offer, in six months we'll be running this planet," articulating the classic conquering European mindset and further cementing him as one of the most unsympathetic protagonists of all time.
It's at this point that the apes make their first appearance, over 30 minutes into the movie, riding in on horseback and brandishing rifles. Talk about an iconic moment! They don't even speak for another five minutes or so (when the apes are having their picture taken standing over the bodies of slain humans like big game hunters) but that imagery is simply stunning and it's no wonder that makeup artist John Chambers (portrayed by John Goodman in last year's Argo) would go on to win an honorary Academy Award, presented by Walter Matthau and a chimp in a tuxedo. In a thrilling hunt sequence, the apes (who seem to love using extremely ineffective nets) capture a number of the humans, including Taylor and his fellow crewmember Landon while Dodge, the black guy, is unsurprisingly killed. ("I've seen this movie, the black dude dies first.")
Taylor actually gets shot in the neck before being captured, which renders him unable to talk for the about the next 25 minutes of the movie. This serves two functions: first off, Taylor becomes INFINITELY more likable when he's not constantly spouting off conceited macho bullshit. Secondly, we get a great sense of how the apes treat humans when they don't yet realize the extent of Taylor's intelligence. This clever role reversal, with apes treating humans like savage animals who are barely intelligent and utterly disposable, probably struck a particularly resonant chord in 1968, when the animal rights movement and indignation over animal testing first started to enter the public zeitgeist. Taylor meets Zira, (Kim Hunter) an animal psychologist who is intent on proving that the mute humans have the capability for thought and speech. She quickly discovers that Taylor, who she calls Bright Eyes, is not like the other natives. He proves that he can write and communicates thusly with Zira and her fiance Cornelius (Roddy McDowell), an archeologist who has been pursuing a heretical theory that there was some sort of ape civilization that predates their own history.
At this point I'd like to discuss the historical progression of this ape culture. Considering only the information made available in this movie, some things doesn't quite add up. The apes ride horses, but don't yet have any sort of automotive transportation. They wear clothes of crafted leather and fabric and they reside in simple stone (and perhaps clay?) structures, but they also brandish automatic rifles and keep humans in cages, which implies an understanding of metallurgy. They clearly exist in a pre-industrial society, and yet when they encounter mass manufactured objects later on in the movie like the human doll, no one seems surprised or impressed. And when Cornelius displays a map of the area, it's of a shockingly small area of land. This is a civilization that has existed for approximately 1200 years. It seems strange that they would have been around for so long without exploring and expanding beyond what amounts to a few days traveling time. Moreover, it feels as if this culture is bizarrely advanced in some ways but stagnated in others.
Back to the story. Taylor, who's been paired with a native female he's dubbed Nova, attempts to break out of his prison when he overhears the guards saying that he's been ordered to be neutered by Dr. Zaius (Maurice Evans), who serves as head of both the scientific and religious order in the ape city. Taylor's escape attempt proves both fruitless and somewhat boring, with Heston essentially running in circles around the ape village, crashing a funeral and hiding in a museum filled with taxidermied humans, including the corpse of Dodge. The chase culminates in Taylor, strung up in a net, stunning a crowd of apes by shouting out the now infamous line, "Take your stinking paws off me you damn dirty apes!"
Here is where the film shifts gears once again. First of all, once Taylor regains his speech he immediately turns back into an asshole. He tells Nova about his doomed space mission, referring to the deceased Stewart as their "most precious cargo," saying that she was to be their "new Eve, with [their] hot and eager help." While the particulars of their deep space mission are left purposefully vague, it strikes me as a bit of a logical flaw if they were intending to populate some sort of space colony with three guys and one woman, all Taylor's sexist attitudes aside. His ape handlers quickly split him and Nova into separate cages and turn the hose on him, culminating in Heston famously screaming, "It's a maaaaadhouse!"
We're then thrust into what's probably the best part of the film, Taylor's trial and subsequent prosecution by an ape tribunal. Had I discovered this movie when I was thirteen or fourteen it would have become a regular staple of my cinematic diet, mostly because of the last half hour of the movie. Here is where we discover that the real heart of the ape civilization is built around a fanatical devotion to the "Articles Of Faith" and anything that doesn't conform to that faith is deemed heretical. So even though Taylor can plainly speak and reason just as well as any ape, Dr. Zaius and his ilk refuse to acknowledge the facts that are plainly presented to them because they don't fit in with the apes' pre-established worldview. (At one point the ape tribunal literally adopts the "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" pose as Zira argues in Taylor's defense.) The ape prosecutor even rails against the "perverted and insidious theory of evolution." Again, had I seen this movie in middle school, as I was just shaking off the yoke of my Catholic elementary education in favor of the logical embrace of science, I would have eaten this shit up. In many ways, it reminds me of some of my favorite episodes of Star Trek, using some alien civilization to demonstrate an important point about our own humanity.
Once the tribunal rules against Taylor and threatens to charge Cornelius and Zira with heresy, the group stages a prison break and flees to the caves of the Forbidden Zone where Taylor first crashed and where Cornelius first uncovered evidence of an ancient civilization. (Again, to drive home Taylor's asshole sexism, he insists on bringing Nova along solely in order for him to get laid. If there's any doubt, Dr. Zaius even remarks that he didn't think humans could be monogamous, to which Talor replies, "On this planet, it's easy.") After Cornelius presents Dr. Zaius with clear evidence of an intelligent human civilization, Zaius refuses to admit the truth. After Taylor and Nova depart on horseback to "follow the coastline and [his] nose," Zaius goes back on his word let Zira and Cornelius off the hook for heresy and actually blows up the cave to keep others from discovering its contents and threatening their ape culture. Taylor and Nova then stumble upon the ruins of the Statue Of Liberty, showing that it was, of course, Earth all along.
I mentioned some issues with production quality and they are indeed hard to ignore. First of all, while the ape makeup looks fantastic and is certainly memorable, the actors have serious trouble with some of the prosthetics. Often times their mouths barely move at all when speaking. There are also great swaths of time that pass off camera, which you'd never know if the characters didn't explicitly say it out loud. Seriously, one scene cuts to another and I'm thinking it's a few hours later, or maybe the next morning, and then suddenly Taylor says, "It's been weeks." WEEKS? If you're not paying close attention, you'd think the story takes place over the course of a few days, when in reality it's probably more like a month or two. Most egregiously, there's a tremendous amount of shooting day for night. In fact, there's not a single night time scene that was actually shot in darkness, forcing me to wonder if there was some kind of strange production scheduling issue that necessitated this decision.
I'm SERIOUSLY looking forward to watching the rest of this series. Heston doesn't appear again in any of the other movies and honestly I'm not surprised. Perhaps I'm unduly influenced by viewing the movie nearly half a century after it was made, but Taylor comes across as an incredibly unlikeable hero, the kind of lead character that would never survive today's prescreening focus groups. At the end, when Taylor tells Zira he wants to kiss her, (because he's a MAN dammit!) she practically laughs in his face and says, "Okay, but you're so damn ugly." I literally cheered out loud just to hear a woman take him down a peg. I have no desire to see the further adventures of Taylor and Nova riding across the Forbidden Zone, but I'm TOTALLY down to explore new corners of ape civilization. It's little wonder to me that audiences gravitated to the endearing ape makeup and wanted to see more of Roddy McDowell and Kim Hunter. I certainly do, but rather than blow my wad all at once, my plan is to watch an Ape film every Friday night for the next few weeks.
One down, 364 to go.
--------------------------------------- Title: The Planet Of The Apes Director: Franklin J. Shaffner Starring: Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowell, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans Year Of Release: 1968 Viewing Method: Digital Copy (On TV)
Today is my official "launch day," and since I've put the word out on the street about this site I didn't want the front page to be totally blank. To get the full lowdown on what this thing is all about, give the Prologue a read.
Tomorrow night I'm kicking off my screening schedule with my first movie, the original Planet Of The Apes. Since it'll be an evening viewing, I plan to post my thoughts the following day. This will probably be par for the course from this point on, as most of my screenings will be at night. I've got the first month's worth of movies roughly mapped out, but I also want to maintain some flexibility in case new screening opportunities present themselves along the way.
In the meantime, enjoy the above picture of George C. Scott covered in whipped cream after the infamous deleted pie fight scene from one of my very favorite movies, Dr. Strangelove. (We'll be exploring a few Kubrick gems later on down the road.)
