May 25, 2013

HYDE PARK ON HUDSON Somehow Makes President Bill Murray Both Dull And Depressing


"Are you going to have a...hot dog?"
I love all things Bill Murray.  The guy can absolutely do no wrong in my book.  I could not possibly have been more excited at the idea of Dr. Peter Venkman playing the President Of The United States.  Not only that, but FDR is one of my favorite presidents of all time, so the idea of Murray as FDR pretty much put me over the moon.

This movie is fucking BORING.

I don't know how you fuck up President Bill Murray.  I really don't.  I guess the first thing you do is make him (at best) the third lead of the movie.  I was hoping for ninety minutes of Bill Murray being awesome.  Instead I got sixty minutes of Laura Linney being morose.  The other thirty minutes are dedicated to whether or not the King and Queen of England are going to eat a fucking hot dog.

I swear I am not exaggerating here.  Just endless Oscar Meyer-centric conversations between the British royals. Someone clearly thought that shit was hilarious.  That person should have their head examined.  It certainly doesn't help that the royals in question are King George and Queen Elizabeth, a.k.a. the same characters made famous in Tom Hooper's incredibly overrated The King's Speech.  That makes it hard to get through any of their scenes without my brain screaming, "YOU ARE NOT COLIN FIRTH!  WHERE'S HELENA BONHAM CARTER?  WHAT CRAZY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE HAVE I STUMBLED INTO?"  For real.  And I don't even like that movie.  In truth, both actors do a fine job, especially considering that approximately 70% of their dialogue revolves around wieners.  Unfortunately it's flat out impossible not to draw the comparison.

I feel lied to.  I feel betrayed.

What the fuck did I just watch?

President Bill Murray, why have you forsaken me?


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Title: Hyde Park On Hudson
Director: Roger Michell
Starring: Billy Murray, Laura Linney, Olivia Williams, Samuel West, Olivia Colman
Year Of Release: 2012
Viewing Method: Netflix DVD